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Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

The week of 8th to 14th May is Mental Health Awareness week and there has been a lot of press about mental health lately. With our own Royal Family speaking out it seemed to once again bring mental health to the forefront. It is also apparent there is still a lot of stigma attached to mental health. I also read a comment from a well know journalist and presenter saying that men should just “man up”.

For me, my mental health issues have come about from the years I have spent with psoriasis. I often relate this to torture, it is that painful and difficult to live with. If you try to imagine what it would be like if you were woken up regularly, had itching powder put in your sheets, you skin made sore then purposely have something poured over it to make it sting, it will give you just a idea of what it can be like in the day of a psoriasis patient. Now think of that happening every day. Do you think your mental health may suffer just a little?

That’s just the surface of psoriasis, there’s a much deeper issue. Anxiety creeps in as you look in the mirror and see your face, the flakes from your scalp on your shoulders, you wonder what others think when they see you and that’s before even venturing outside and seeing people’s reactions. Feeling you are ugly or unsightly without anyone saying anything is your head playing tricks with you. Those feelings can grow though and when you’re tired from an extreme lack of sleep and having to fight this condition every day, those thoughts can easily take over.

I have been there, right to the very edge of despair and my skin and blood caked fingers somehow dragged me back. I am better, not fully recovered and every morning can bring a worry of “how will I feel today?”. Every single day is still a fight, some days are just easier than others. I find ways to cope, ways to release my feelings so I no longer bottle it all up. I find a way to live my life and enjoy as much of it as I can. So even if you see me smiling, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m well. It could mean I’m just hiding.

Back the Mental Health Awareness week. For this I have linked back to a couple of blog posts from the past. One is about what started the fight, how close I was to ending it all, that was a Dark Night. The other is not quite as dark yet still highlights the mental health issues experienced, Faulty Switch.

Now begs the question how am I still going? Well that is much easier to answer. It is due to support from my family, friends and a GP who has somehow stopped me being diagnosed with depression. Of course there is my Cat, Bob who know just when I need a nose bump. With a love of food and cooking I have something I can escape to and focus on creating the perfect dish rather than over think how I’m feeling. That escape, even for a few minutes, can give me the strength to carry on fighting.

 

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