As I get closer to my next derm appointment my brain has been getting a little over active. It started with thinking what I want to say, how I’m going to say it and exactly what kind of treatment I want. Nothing wrong with that, you have to think these things through, it’s an important appointment as I want to change my medication completely and try something new.
The problem is my brain then starts thinking other things. This is mainly because my skin started it’s usual habit of clearing up a bit as I get closer to seeing the consultant. This happens so often and it’s typical of psoriasis. I am sure psoriasis is not a disease or medical condition, it is a living, breathing entity and it has a brain. It knows what I know and , having read the letter from the NHS with me, it knows when the appointment is. It stands there and laughs as it schemes a way to look better just when I need the consultant to see how bad my skin is.
I have spoken to other psoriasis patients and many have said they almost allow their skin to get worse as they get close to an appointment to get the treatment they need. I must admit, as my skin started looking better I thought the same. I really feel like I should not bother using any meds or moisturiser and allow my skin to flare up. It is very tempting. Not entirely sure what that says about my state of mind that I would be willing to let my condition to worsen.
Something else that is happening right now is the start of a cold. No, not man flu, just a cold and believe me that’s a pain for a psoriasis sufferer. My skin reacts to my general health a lot and the slightest sniffle can cause a flare up. So given what I said previously, I don’t need to stop medicating as a flare up is on the way. I’m actually happy to have a cold, it helps my situation. If there wasn’t an appointment on the horizon I would be annoyed as I’d know a flare up is coming.
Now here’s the brain going into overdrive again. What if not only do I not medicate my skin, I don’t try to stave off the cold and allow that to get worse too. Imagine how bad my skin might be by next Tuesday. Psoriasis messes with your head, it makes you think some strange things and you do have to question your sanity. I would ask this question to you, if you had a life long condition that can consume your life, what steps would you be willing to go to to ensure the doctors treated you with urgency? What am I going to do? Well answering that would just be a spoiler. (Sorry, been watching too much Doctor Who).