Okay, it’s right there, no not there, right there in the middle, you must be able to see it, how can you not see it? Seriously, it may as well be holding a neon sign saying “look at me, I’ve arrived and I’m butt ugly”. Hmmm, no one at work has noticed, well they haven’t said anything at least. Are you sure you can’t see it? I saw it the moment it appeared, that first look in the mirror, there it was staring me right in the eye. Every time I go to the bathroom and see my reflection in the mirror it’s all I can see, a red spot on the middle of my forehead right on my hairline. It’s huge, massive, bright red, luminous. Every time I see it I cringe, I want to find some way of covering it……. wonder if I can get away with wearing a hat at work.
This is psoriasis, this is what it can do. The rest of my skin is hidden by my shirt and trousers, to look at me you’d never know but for the last three days everyone knows. Well I think everyone knows. There has not been one word except those in my head telling me I have this hideous mark on my forehead. I know it’s in my head and admitting that may make me sound like a paranoid mental case but at least I’m admitting it that it’s in my head. If I give myself a slap round the face I know inside that no one has noticed, no one is repulsed when they see me, well if they are it’s not the red patch on my forehead, that’s just me. Yet even as I sit here and tell you and myself that it’s in my head, that spot gets brighter and more noticeable. That one red spot is the smallest spot of psoriasis on my body and right now it is the biggest because it’s the one bit that can be seen.
Many years ago, this one tiny spot would have locked me away, now I get on with life and let the sensible part of my brain fight with the paranoia. So far sense is winning.