It’s Wednesday night, I have had a cold for two days. I don’t really grumble too much about colds and I’m not here to say there’s a link between psoriasis and getting colds more often. I know a lot of people find this happens but personally, it’s only in the last 3 years I’ve noticed I’m getting more colds than I used to. As I have had psoriasis for 10 years or so, I’m not sure it’s the psoriasis giving me these colds. Anyway, back to the point of my post, colds irritate my skin, something they have always done since I’ve had psoriasis.
Now there’s itching because of psoriasis, you know the flaky peeling skin kind of itch. They type of itch you get when your sunburn starts to peel, or you have very dry skin. This itch, the cold itch, is different, if it is even an itch. It starts as that sort of tingling itch you get when a cut starts to heal. Then as your cold sets in it becomes a more intense itch, burning almost like your skin is on fire. This isn’t the most annoying thing about it though.
If that itching confined itself to where I have psoriasis I’d be okay…… okay-ish. I’d know how to deal with it. The problem is when I have a cold it’s every inch of my body, even the healthy skin. It’s an itch you can scratch to get rid of, although it may feel good at the time and exactly how to you scratch every single part of your body at the same time.
I sat and stared at my computer at work today, tense, hands clenching, occasionally just holding my head in my hands, nails dug in wanting to start ripping my skin off. Your brain is telling you that really that won’t help and all you want is for the feeling to go away. Just five minutes, please, is that too much to ask. I’m at work, I have things to do, just let me sodding concentrate and get on with it. I tell you, that excel sheet I was looking at before I left the office today will be checked in the morning as I can’t even remember why I was looking at it, let alone what I was adding to it.
I drive home, all the time thinking I just need to be home. I need to strip, get air to my skin, let it cool down, soak in a cool moisturising bath and then slather on creams. I get home and start to relax, at least I’m home. I kiss my wife, give her a hug and then start running a bath. I get a moisturising skin wash ready. I change and return to the bath, not too hot, and I don’t put balneum in, instead I pour it on my scalp, then on my skin before stepping into the bath. I lay back, letting the water cover me and take a deep breath. The itching starts to dissipate. At last some comfort.
My brain doesn’t quite switch off though. I know I still have a cold and that this is just a few moments of peace. I get that feeling of anger that I often get with this condition. If I said what I really feel it would probably offend many people. I soak a while then make my way upstairs, letting my body dry, it feels good, better than I have done all day. Then I start moisturising in an effort to keep this itching at bay for a little longer. I sit for a while letting the cream soak in. My throat is itching, dry and sore, my head is aching. Stupid damn cold.
Hunger sets in and I take my mind of things by doing something I love, cooking. I make dinner and even rearrange the kitchen a little as my new kitchen shelves are up. This is my place of peace, I guess my replacement for a church or whichever place of worship those who are religious have. This is where psoriasis is thrown to the back of my mind, even my cold is forgotten for a few minutes despite the pounding headache I have.
We eat, I complain about the rubbish TV and we end up watching Open All Hours. Good old Arkwright, he makes me forget the itch for another half hour. I enjoy dinner, I didn’t realise how hungry I was, not a scrap left. Then I head back upstairs, I sit and look around and I know I’m heading for a bad night. It’s half past 8 as I started writing this and I’m tired, so tired. See that’s the other thing about this itch, you sleep but you don’t sleep, often waking and losing energy as you try to mange the day. I can feel the itch coming back, I take some cold tablets in hope of a peaceful night and waking up with the cold, without the itch.
As I sit here now, all I want is a good rest, a peaceful night and no damn incessant itching.