It is strange writing a blog about psoriasis. It is something I would rather not have as part of my life. It is difficult to say exactly how much I detest the disease. Yes, detest, that’s a good word for how I feel about psoriasis. I have not had you in my life as long as others yet it is still far too long that we have been together. I want rid of you, hang on, is it possible to divorce psoriasis? Well it’s got to be worth a try as nothing else seems to work fully.
So I write about you fairly regularly. As I try to get you out of my life I seem to let you in more and more by making you the centre of much of what I do. The thing is now it’s starting to irritate me. As much as I push you away I’m clawing you back into my mind to tell the world just how much I hate you. It doesn’t really make much sense does it?
I can sugar coat our relationship with “It’s to help others” and “raising awareness”. The truth is I don’t think it is doing me any good to have you as such a big part of my life. If I continue this way, even if I became clear of you physically you would still be there. Still in my head as I continue to talk about you. Imagine if you met someone and all they did was talk about their ex. That’s a little how I feel we would end up.
Something has to give and this has been playing on my mind a lot this year, really since I last had clear skin. The blog might have to end. I might have to stop talking. I mean, I’m not even sure what else I have to say on the subject. All I seem to do is repeat myself and I do question whether anyone is truly listening.
I want to be positive and upbeat. I don’t want to mope around anymore and dwelling on the fears and insecurities that you have brought me only add to the suffering. If you won’t leave me physically psoriasis then you will have to leave me in other ways. Maybe we should “consciously uncouple”. We at least need to stop talking, maybe then you’ll get the hint that I don’t want you around.
Like many couples I have decided to take a break from psoriasis. We can be like Rachel and Ross, except if you see someone else I really won’t care. I will feel sorry for that person more than I will care about you seeing them. I will still be working on some projects so I am sure we’ll bump into each other now and then. For now it’s goodbye.
I hope you all understand that I just need a break. I often feel pressured into writing and it’s not the healthiest state for me to be in. Having recently moved I am engrossed in cooking in my new kitchen and starting a new adventure with my Wife. This is much more important to me that psoriasis. I will still be fighting in the background and am sure I will return to the blog one day. Just in case it’s not this year, Happy Christmas!