For various reasons I have been talking about Psoriasis a lot over the last couple of weeks. Mainly from meeting many new people and getting involved with psoriasis based projects. A question that keeps coming up is “Do you find you just forget about it now you’re used to it?” I could answer that with a simple no, to both parts of the question. No I’m not used to it, I don’t think I ever will get used to it. I have said before that if I allow myself to get used to it, Psoriasis starts to win. I mean, of course I try to just go through every day as normal, as if this is normal life, you have to, otherwise you would go insane.
The other part of the question, “Do you forget about it?” Oh how I wish I could. To go through a day without giving it a second thought would be a dream come true. This is how it works ever day with psoriasis:
- Have I moisturised?
- What cream shall I use?
- Given the cream I use, what shall I wear?
- Depending what I have to do that day, governs what cream you use. Needing to dress smart, it’s a body lotion, the ointments are too greasy and will stain my suit.
- Is it going to be hot today, do I need to wear light clothes that will cover my legs?
- Is it going to be cold, do I need to put more cream on to combat that?
- I’m popping down the shops, better change out of my shorts and put trousers on.
- Have I got enough creams and ointments, do I need to see the doctor to get more?
- How is my face feeling, do I risk shaving today or will it irritate?
- I want to wear my black jacket, how flaky is my scalp?
These are just a few of the daily questions you ask yourself. Every day I get up I have to think about psoriasis, I have to live with it, I have to treat it and it doesn’t end even when your skin is fairly clear. You still have to keep up the routine of moisturisers because it can come back and the fear of it coming back or a flare up means you never stop treating it.
Then when I sit and think about it in this way I feel guilty. There are worse conditions, more severe illnesses and hear I am moaning about my skin. I can still do most of the things I want to do, I just cover up to do them. But think of this, if someone put itching powder in your clothes every day of your life for several years, you tell me how you would cope after endless sleepless nights, not being able to relax, going through long periods of never feeling comfortable then add in the paranoia, depression and anxiety that comes with psoriasis
Psoriasis is a bully, it never stops taunting you so you never can just forget about it, if you do then it will jump on you and knock you back down. You get on with your life, you take a deep breath, you look at the beautiful things in this world, you keep fighting. You do this every single day, some days being harder than others. So to ask those questions again:
Do you ever forget about it? No, never.
Are you used to it? No, I would rather get used to having clear skin.